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Post by thedarkfiddler on Aug 25, 2008 5:25:48 GMT 12
Well, I figured that with all of these substandard ( ;D) reviews floating around, i should start my own! So... here starts... The Dark Fiddler's Substandard Reviews! Well, I figured that I don't see enough of a single media in order to keep to a single one, so I figured I'd sorta review anything that I can. If anyone has an idea of what I should review, post it here, and if I can, I'll review it. Expect my first review within the the next few hours. Reviews so far: Page one:Spore Creature Creator Order of the Stick Spore
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Post by thedarkfiddler on Aug 25, 2008 6:56:35 GMT 12
The Dark Fiddler's Substandard Reviews #1!Name: Spore Creator Creator Release Date: June 17th, 2008 Media: Game (Kinda) Publisher: Electronic Arts Developers: Maxis System(s): PC, Mac Now, some of you may have heard me talk (Or, rather, rant) about this game, so I figured this would be perfect for my first review. Now, this "game" isn't quite a game, in the traditional sense. It is more of a teaser for the full Spore. You see, Spore is a game, that is like the Sims, except instead of a family, you control a species through the evolutionary path. The Creature Creator is the editor that allows you to make your creatures in the creature phase of the game. (Look for my Spore review somewhere in September) Now, onto this "game". There are a few versions you can get. There is a free version availible fo download from the spore website. Now, you may think this sounds awesome, but it only contains 25% of the content, therefore restricting you creatures a fair bit. There is also a free version that comes with HP computers and laptops, with 50% of the content. Finally, there is a $10 version, with 100% of the content. The version you get doesn't matter, you can still upload your creatures to the "Sporepedia" (more on that later) and they can still be used when the full Spore comes out. Now, when you start up the creator, you are given a lump of clay with a spine, and a base color. From this, you can shorten or lenghten the spine, widen the skin around the vertabrae, or twist the spine to your likes. When you finish the spine, you can put on at least 100 different parts, ranging from mouths (necesarry to save), to different types of eyes, and fairious different decorational parts. Dependant on the parts you put on, your creature will have different abilities (and will live differently in the full Spore). For example, giving you creature a final tier carnivore mouth, will give your creature great biting capabilities, and a mating call (standard with all mouths), but will limit your social singing skill. Adding a wing will increase your creature's ability to jump and glide, and may give your creature a charm social interaction point. When you finish putting on parts (or as you go) you can start painting the body. When painting, there are alot of preset patterns, but you can create your own, by specifying the pattern and color of three layers. When you finish painting, you can take it into the test drive zone to see how it walks, what it looks like when happy, or even take videos and upload them directly to YouTube. Save, and start over! Now, you may think you are done when you save, but, if you have a Spore account, you can upload your creature to the "Sporepedia", a collection of the creatures of people from around the world. You can also take pictures and email them, and upload videos to YouTube, all programmed into the game! Final Say: The Spore Creature Creator is a great game, if you don't mind playing a game where you don't kill people. Although $10 may not be much, you're better off trying the free version first, to make sure you don't waste money. The game brings a great amount of entertainment, and if you work deligently, you can easily get as much entertainment from this as a regular game, making it a great steal. If you prefer more practical things, the creatures you create can make good avatars, banner, e-cards, etc. Score: 9/10
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Post by cascade88 on Aug 25, 2008 8:41:21 GMT 12
Awesomeness.
Actually, I like reading game reviews in magazines and such, so this is a cool idea for a thread imo. Anyway, this game sounds cool, even if it really is only the basis for the actual Spore game. I'm into 'god' games as they're called, so this one sounds to be no exception. Good reviewing.
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Post by Praetor on Aug 25, 2008 11:24:02 GMT 12
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Post by thedarkfiddler on Aug 25, 2008 11:31:10 GMT 12
Not here, hence the name MY reviews.
...How can I review a game I don't have? I could preview... but this is for reviews....
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Post by Praetor on Aug 25, 2008 11:53:22 GMT 12
Okay, how about just Starcraft; not Starcraft 2?
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Post by thedarkfiddler on Aug 25, 2008 12:12:47 GMT 12
Maybe later.
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Post by thedarkfiddler on Sept 3, 2008 9:10:45 GMT 12
The Dark Fiddler's Substandard Reviews #2!Name: Order of the Stick Media: Webcomic Publisher: Giant In The Playground Games The Order of the Stick is a comedic webcomic parodying table top Role Playing games (e.g. Dungeons and Dragons) and is drawn in a colorful stick figure-esque style, written by Rich Burlew. The storyline (yes, there is a storyline) follows the Order of the Stick as they try to finish a blood oath Roy Greenhilt has inherited from his father. The Order is composed of the following: Roy Greenhilt: Leader, Human Warrior Durkon Thundershield: Dwarven Cleric of Thor Vaarsuvius: Elvin Arcane Wizard Haley Starshine: Second in command, Human Rouge Elan: Human Bard (Multiclass to Dashing Swordsman) Belkar Bitterleaf: Haffling Ranger Now, seeing as a review on something like this would be tough without a plot, this may be a bit short. The strip, somewhere between 1 and 3 pages long, derives much humor from breaking the fourth wall, pointing out problems in the D&D rules, etc. So far, as of posting this, over 580 issues, and reaqding through them all can take quite abit of time, and some jokes will be missed if you aren't familiar with D&D. All and all, I suggest this to any fans of D&D and similar games. Score: 8/10 (Sorry this one isn't as good, I promise, my next one will be better.)
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Post by Praetor on Sept 3, 2008 17:22:25 GMT 12
^ Reminds me of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
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Post by JbstormburstADV on Sept 4, 2008 2:00:45 GMT 12
Do Metal Gear Awesome!!
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Post by thedarkfiddler on Sept 14, 2008 2:39:58 GMT 12
The Dark Fiddler's Substandard Reviews #3!Name: Spore Release Date: Early September Media: Game Publisher: Electronic Arts Developers: Maxis System(s): PC, Mac Ah, yes, the review of the almighty Spore. Now, just ask around, I'm not the only one who is interested here. And of course, there is a reason for this, the games is simply awesome! The concept, is to take a lump of clay, adding parts to it, and evolving it. But, it is much more than this, and not reviewing the individual parts would be a crime, so, a brief overview follows. You start with... The Cell Phase: In this phase, you control a 2-D cell, either a Carnivore, or a Herbivore (and later, and Omnivore), floating around in the primordial ooze. Herbivore float around, eating little green plant bits, Carnivores float around eating meat bits (And can kill for them), while Omnivores can eat the plant matter, or eat LIVING cells, sucking the life from them. Now, as you eat, you acquire DNA Points, which allow you to add more parts to your creature in the 2-d editor. Speaking of parts, you get 6 to start, and have to unlock the other 6. After you gain enough DNA points, you get to move on to... The Creature Phase: When you finish the Cell Phase, you gain access to the "Early Creature Editor" which adds a third dimension and 3 different leg styles to your part choices. When you finish, you go on land. This phase offers the first branch in behavior, you can be violent, social, or in between. In order to progress, you have to either kill or befriend other nests to earn DNA points, and when you get enough, your brain gets bigger. On parts, each cell phase part you put on give you immediate access to about 3 parts each, and between 5 and 20 parts for later unlocking. When you gain enough DNA, your species picks up a stick, starts a fire, and you progress into... The Tribal Phase: Now that your gray matter has evolved, you have gained the idea of forming a tribe, and rather than a First Person Action game, you get a RTS style now, you start with your leader, and two other members of your tribe. In order to progress, you need to gain food, from gathering, fishing, and domestication of other species. You can also add clothes to your creatures for the first time, which increase social and battling capabilities. You can also, for food, add either weapons (Axes, Torches, and Spears) or instruments (Horns, Maracas, and Didgeridoos) to either conquer your enemies, or socialize with them. Once you control the continent, you can move on to... The Civilization Phase: Which starts with you creating your Town Hall. This phase introduces the most editors, with editors for Town Hall, Houses, Factories, Entertainment, Land, Sea, and Air vehicles (technically, Land, sea, and air for Military, Religion, and Economy). The currency in this phase is Sporebucks, which you get by capturing Spice Geysers (and trading). You have to either destroy, convert, or buy out every other city on the planet. Do that, and you get to the final stage... The Space Stage: Which begins with the making of a Space Ship. Now, this phase is really a beefed up Civilization Phase. Now, this phase seemed like a slap in the face at first, because, unlike the other phases, were you could do everything from the start, and only unlocked better ways to do it, this phase has you unlocking new things to do. However, looking back, this is a blessing really, and this phase can technically run on forever. As such, it is hard to sum up. So... as you can see, this game is fairly original, and is one of the best games I have ever played. I highly recommend this game... unless you are a Halo Junkie that can't go for 5 minutes without headshotting someone. Score: 10/10
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Post by cascade88 on Sept 14, 2008 2:52:55 GMT 12
It really does sound like an awesome game, Spence. To be honest, I didn't realize that there were that many aspects to it, ie: the tribal phase, civilization, and space phases. Either way, like I said, sounds awesome. And nice review.
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Post by DaveTheFishandChipsGuy on Sept 14, 2008 4:18:03 GMT 12
It is an awesome game, but I'd probs lose interest once i got to civilisation, as i'm not into that sort of game.
If there were some way to constantly stay as the creatures, evolving, then i'd get it ASAP.
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Post by thedarkfiddler on Sept 14, 2008 4:19:51 GMT 12
You can stay as long as you want
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Post by Praetor on Sept 15, 2008 22:43:29 GMT 12
Fiddler - Since you're the expert on this game, can you rate Spore for the DS? I know it is different from the PC version.
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