Post by Rishi on Oct 22, 2008 2:26:09 GMT 12
Everything you're about to read in this post is FACTUAL, except for just one of the paragraphs (I forgot which one, my mind consists mainly of pornographic memories). Okay, first of all, humanity has wondered about the answer to one particular question since time immemorial and that question is: What came first, the chicken or the egg?
I now have conclusive evidence to declare that it was indeed the chicken that came first. I've recently been channelling a cosmic entity known as 'Ashtar Sheran', the extraterrestrial humanoid leader of the Ashtar Galactic Command (the 38th subdivision of the Galactic Federation). I asked him that conundrum of a question in good faith that he would provide a truthful response. He did. I am now about to relay to all of you sinless people the TRUTH of the chicken-or-egg causality dilemma:
There once existed a planet named Poultronia. It was a beautiful planet replete with lush vegetation similar to that found on Earth. The dominant species on Poultronia were known as the Poultronians and they resembled anatomically modern humans, except for two slight differences: their bodies were covered in feathers of a yellowish hue and they had wings stretching almost a mile and a half in length instead of arms.
The Poultronians had a thriving civilisation. Their system of government was monarchical and thus they were all ruled by Poultronian kings of great integrity and unblemished character. Precisely 76 million Earth years ago, the ruling king of Poultronia was called Rodney. He was a decent man, yet he was plagued by one obsessive desire that fiercely burned in his Poultronian heart throughout his entire life. His desire was this: He wanted to genetically create a new species, new creatures which would represent the Poultronians but on a smaller scale and would walk on four legs as opposed to two. Then to aid in making this dream a reality, he was given free admission into the finest university in all of Poultronia: Galliformia
He studied a course about genetics in the University Of Galliformia for 4 Earth years until he graduated from that course and received a degree. King Rodney then eventually met another fellow Poultronian, America, who was destined to assist him in creating a miniaturised quadrupedal breed of Poultronians. America lived in a house made of limestone bricks much the same as the houses we Earthlings live in. However, this house did not serve as just a house for America, it also served as a laboratory for her to carry out genetic experiments at whim. She had created innumerable Poultronian monstrosities, such as a Poultronian with an upside-down face, a Poultronian with eyes covered all over her entire body and a Poultronian with legs where her arms should be and arms where her legs should be (to name but a few!). However, she had not created the type of Poultronian that Rodney desired. Yet. Rodney told America that his heart's fondest desire was to see the creation and existence of a species of Poultronian quadrupeds. With Rodney's knowledge and America's passion, such a species did indeed gradually arise into glorious existence! They were originally born in a fully-developed, sexually mature stage. This was approximately 69 million Earth years ago (Poultronians have lifespans of exactly 16.555558 million Earth years), so the effort undertaken to create Poultronian quadrupeds took about 3 million Earth years. Unfortunately, by this time the planet Poultronia was in grave danger. An asteroid almost the size of Earth became caught in the immense gravitational field of Poultronia (Poultronia was 2 and a half times larger than Earth). Because the atmospheric layers of Poultronia were so thick, it was known that it would take many days before the asteroid could fully make contact with Poultronia. The Poultronians had a primitive civilisation in comparison to ours (except for their universities, houses, genetic knowledge and space-pods). They did not have technology advanced enough to prevent this asteroid from having a cataclysmic impact on their beloved planet nor did they have any manifested powers which could enable them to prevent such a cataclysm from occurring. Complete annihilation of Poultronia was inevitable. It was then that King Rodney had an idea. Though humanoid Poultronians were too large to fit into Poultronian space-pods (known as 'Globlets') and would thus surely perish, King Rodney's ideal breed of Poultronian quadrupeds had small enough statures to fit inside Globlets. However, only one Poultronian quadruped could fit into a Globlet. Therefore, King Rodney placed one female Poultronian quadruped into one Globlet and one male Poultronian quadruped into another Globlet. Before those two Globlets disappeared from Poultronia, King Rodney wished to do one final thing and that was to give his created species of Poultronian quadrupeds a proper name (as he had not done so until that time). He thought for several Earth minutes about what he could call those creatures. Then he remembered a legendary Poultronian king named Chiko, the first king to ever rule Poultronia. In honour of that primeval king, he named his created species 'chickens'. Those two Globlets were then launched into space at super-luminal velocities (the maximum speed of a Globlet is 300 times the speed of light). Within mere Earth days, Poultronia exploded spectacularly until all that remained of that once mighty planet was dust. It was 61 million years ago that those two Globlets randomly crash-landed on our planet (Poultronia was located 8 light years away from Earth). The male chicken (which we now call 'roosters') and the female chicken (which we now call 'hens') emerged from the ruins of the Globlets in which they were gently placed by the noble King Rodney. At first sight, both the male chicken and the female chicken fell madly in love with each other. Their offspring was the result of the pure, unconditional love they felt for each other.
This is when Ashtar stopped communicating to me. My channelling session had come to an abrupt end. In any case, I have put to rest millennia of speculation! The chicken did indeed come before the egg (a chicken egg, that is). I know this fact might be difficult for 'egg before chicken' fanatics to accept, but they should just accept it and stop living in denial.
Thank you for your time. Good night!
I now have conclusive evidence to declare that it was indeed the chicken that came first. I've recently been channelling a cosmic entity known as 'Ashtar Sheran', the extraterrestrial humanoid leader of the Ashtar Galactic Command (the 38th subdivision of the Galactic Federation). I asked him that conundrum of a question in good faith that he would provide a truthful response. He did. I am now about to relay to all of you sinless people the TRUTH of the chicken-or-egg causality dilemma:
There once existed a planet named Poultronia. It was a beautiful planet replete with lush vegetation similar to that found on Earth. The dominant species on Poultronia were known as the Poultronians and they resembled anatomically modern humans, except for two slight differences: their bodies were covered in feathers of a yellowish hue and they had wings stretching almost a mile and a half in length instead of arms.
The Poultronians had a thriving civilisation. Their system of government was monarchical and thus they were all ruled by Poultronian kings of great integrity and unblemished character. Precisely 76 million Earth years ago, the ruling king of Poultronia was called Rodney. He was a decent man, yet he was plagued by one obsessive desire that fiercely burned in his Poultronian heart throughout his entire life. His desire was this: He wanted to genetically create a new species, new creatures which would represent the Poultronians but on a smaller scale and would walk on four legs as opposed to two. Then to aid in making this dream a reality, he was given free admission into the finest university in all of Poultronia: Galliformia
He studied a course about genetics in the University Of Galliformia for 4 Earth years until he graduated from that course and received a degree. King Rodney then eventually met another fellow Poultronian, America, who was destined to assist him in creating a miniaturised quadrupedal breed of Poultronians. America lived in a house made of limestone bricks much the same as the houses we Earthlings live in. However, this house did not serve as just a house for America, it also served as a laboratory for her to carry out genetic experiments at whim. She had created innumerable Poultronian monstrosities, such as a Poultronian with an upside-down face, a Poultronian with eyes covered all over her entire body and a Poultronian with legs where her arms should be and arms where her legs should be (to name but a few!). However, she had not created the type of Poultronian that Rodney desired. Yet. Rodney told America that his heart's fondest desire was to see the creation and existence of a species of Poultronian quadrupeds. With Rodney's knowledge and America's passion, such a species did indeed gradually arise into glorious existence! They were originally born in a fully-developed, sexually mature stage. This was approximately 69 million Earth years ago (Poultronians have lifespans of exactly 16.555558 million Earth years), so the effort undertaken to create Poultronian quadrupeds took about 3 million Earth years. Unfortunately, by this time the planet Poultronia was in grave danger. An asteroid almost the size of Earth became caught in the immense gravitational field of Poultronia (Poultronia was 2 and a half times larger than Earth). Because the atmospheric layers of Poultronia were so thick, it was known that it would take many days before the asteroid could fully make contact with Poultronia. The Poultronians had a primitive civilisation in comparison to ours (except for their universities, houses, genetic knowledge and space-pods). They did not have technology advanced enough to prevent this asteroid from having a cataclysmic impact on their beloved planet nor did they have any manifested powers which could enable them to prevent such a cataclysm from occurring. Complete annihilation of Poultronia was inevitable. It was then that King Rodney had an idea. Though humanoid Poultronians were too large to fit into Poultronian space-pods (known as 'Globlets') and would thus surely perish, King Rodney's ideal breed of Poultronian quadrupeds had small enough statures to fit inside Globlets. However, only one Poultronian quadruped could fit into a Globlet. Therefore, King Rodney placed one female Poultronian quadruped into one Globlet and one male Poultronian quadruped into another Globlet. Before those two Globlets disappeared from Poultronia, King Rodney wished to do one final thing and that was to give his created species of Poultronian quadrupeds a proper name (as he had not done so until that time). He thought for several Earth minutes about what he could call those creatures. Then he remembered a legendary Poultronian king named Chiko, the first king to ever rule Poultronia. In honour of that primeval king, he named his created species 'chickens'. Those two Globlets were then launched into space at super-luminal velocities (the maximum speed of a Globlet is 300 times the speed of light). Within mere Earth days, Poultronia exploded spectacularly until all that remained of that once mighty planet was dust. It was 61 million years ago that those two Globlets randomly crash-landed on our planet (Poultronia was located 8 light years away from Earth). The male chicken (which we now call 'roosters') and the female chicken (which we now call 'hens') emerged from the ruins of the Globlets in which they were gently placed by the noble King Rodney. At first sight, both the male chicken and the female chicken fell madly in love with each other. Their offspring was the result of the pure, unconditional love they felt for each other.
This is when Ashtar stopped communicating to me. My channelling session had come to an abrupt end. In any case, I have put to rest millennia of speculation! The chicken did indeed come before the egg (a chicken egg, that is). I know this fact might be difficult for 'egg before chicken' fanatics to accept, but they should just accept it and stop living in denial.
Thank you for your time. Good night!
